K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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