i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
