i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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