He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
