carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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