I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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