so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
