As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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