Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
