You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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