Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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