Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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