Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
