so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
