Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
