Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
