Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
