Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
