I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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