He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
