my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
