it wasn't lemon gatorade
farters have to be the big spoon...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
