Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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