You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i think i have herpe
just one?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
