I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
