my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
