I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
