Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
operation have a gay friend backfired
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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