I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
