Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
