yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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