the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
