I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
