WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
