So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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