You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
