If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
