did you get engaged???
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
