It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Boobs are out for the taking
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
