I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
He better not be in your backpack
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize