She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
