I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize