hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
