Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Can I color on your dick again?
I could fuck to npr.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
