Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
