You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
