Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize