i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
