dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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