Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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