I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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