You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
