Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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