that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
