billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
please come you make the beer taste better
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
