Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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