just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
