No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
